Nick made a small noise that could have been a groan but he sort of cut it off with a wry snort. "I felt so stupid. I was just ashamed, I felt stupid. That wasn't how I wanted it to happen. I always wanted my first time to be pretty cool, something I kept with me was a decent memory forever. I didn't really know why I did want it special because I was young and didn't understand all that, but I just did. I didn't want my parents to be ashamed of me for being just another dickish teenage dude. They always thought so much more of me than that. You, well... I don't know. I didn't want you to think I was stupid either. I didn't realise you were mostly nearby the whole time I was drunk."

He gave Jeff a small smirk, but it fell into a sheepish and guilty look. "Thanks. You're a good friend, Jeff. The best. And another web of bullshit. Abi doesn't know I watch porn. She thinks I'm not like 'other guys'. I couldn't really correct her without feeling like a perve."