http://warble-on-jeff.livejournal.com/ ([identity profile] warble-on-jeff.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] alwaysawarbler2012-03-13 04:42 pm
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[TEXT TO [livejournal.com profile] rockstarwarbler]

Can I talk to you? If you're mad at me, too, I understand...
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[identity profile] warble-on-jeff.livejournal.com 2012-03-14 12:57 am (UTC)(link)
IDK... I feel like I'm going nuts or something, and I'm not trying to. I keep being a dick, and I don't want to, and I just... I feel lost. I'm a fucking idiot.

[identity profile] warble-on-jeff.livejournal.com 2012-03-14 01:06 am (UTC)(link)
I don't want to throw it away. He's my best friend, and he has been for a really long time. I'm pissed off, and I don't even know why. It's like everything's changing, and I don't know why.

[identity profile] warble-on-jeff.livejournal.com 2012-03-14 01:29 am (UTC)(link)
He called me a creeper, and I got really pissed at him. And I was trying to... I can't really explain it, but I was trying to do something to help myself, and it ended up going totally wrong, and it's just a big fucking mess.

[identity profile] warble-on-jeff.livejournal.com 2012-03-14 01:59 am (UTC)(link)
I never said that! I said I wanted to go out and have some fun. I can't believe he showed you... I was confused about... I was just confused, and I thought it might help.

[identity profile] warble-on-jeff.livejournal.com 2012-03-14 02:11 am (UTC)(link)
I know... It was random to him, but not really to me... I didn't mean to upset him. I've never felt awkward around him before, and I hate it. It feels like something changed, and it wasn't him, it was me, and I didn't want it to, but it did, and Sebastian was giving me shit, and I didn't understand why, but I think maybe I do now, but I don't know, and... Fuck, I'm really not making sense. But now Nicky's moving out, and that's not what I want, and I don't know what to say.

[identity profile] warble-on-jeff.livejournal.com 2012-03-14 02:19 am (UTC)(link)
But it wasn't like usual... Like asking me if my mom dyes my hair or anything like that... It was different. I...

Maybe? I really don't want to be. Abi's nice.

[identity profile] warble-on-jeff.livejournal.com 2012-03-14 02:40 am (UTC)(link)
He said I was doing something that I wasn't doing... At least, I didn't think I was... Fuck, I don't know. But he gave me what I thought was decent advice, and it didn't help at all, and now I just feel stupid.

I know. Nicky deserves better than me.

[identity profile] warble-on-jeff.livejournal.com 2012-03-14 11:21 am (UTC)(link)
I don't know... it could go really badly. REALLY badly. I don't know... I just fucked up. I'm an idiot.

I'm not trying to be. I just am. And I didn't want to be, and I hate it. He's my best friend, and I'm treating him like shit.

[identity profile] warble-on-jeff.livejournal.com 2012-03-14 12:14 pm (UTC)(link)
I wish I knew how to explain it... I don't think I'm getting anything out of Sebastian now, but I probably would've lost my friendship with Nicky either way.

[identity profile] warble-on-jeff.livejournal.com 2012-03-14 12:24 pm (UTC)(link)
Not at all... It meant everything to me... Maybe too much. That's kind of the problem.

[identity profile] warble-on-jeff.livejournal.com 2012-03-14 01:10 pm (UTC)(link)
You have to swear you won't say anything to anybody.

[identity profile] warble-on-jeff.livejournal.com 2012-03-14 01:32 pm (UTC)(link)
The thing Sebastian said I was doing... He said I was perving on Nicky's ass... and then I really WAS perving on Sebastian's ass...
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